Golf and the Call of Nature

Like the Game isn't challenging enough!

🚽⛳️ When Nature Calls: Bathroom Mishaps on the Golf

Course

By OG Swing Thoughts | Golf & Potty – Humorous Stories

Golf teaches patience, precision, and poise… until nature calls. Every golfer has faced that sudden, undeniable, no-time-to-negotiate moment when coffee, breakfast burritos, and course design collide.

Yes, friends — we’re talking about the bathroom emergencies of golf. Those unplanned pit stops, creative hiding spots, and moments that test your bladder and your bravery more than any downhill four-footer ever could.

Here are a few legendary tales from the fairways — stories of survival, relief, and laughter that remind us: sometimes the greatest hazards aren’t on the scorecard.

🏃‍♂️ 1. The Cart Path Sprint

It started with a breakfast burrito and ended with a dead sprint down hole #11. One golfer, realizing disaster was imminent, dropped his club, jumped in the cart, and sped off yelling:

“If I don’t make it back, tell my wife I went out doing what I loved… and what I feared!” He returned 20 minutes later, one sock short but smiling like he’d just made eagle.

🚻 2. The Porta-Potty Putt

During a charity scramble, a player ducked into the porta-potty just off the green. Seconds later, his teammate drained a 25-footer to win the skin. The cheering startled him so much that he kicked open the door, pants half-mast, yelling “Did we win?!” Yes, they did. But not the dignity contest.

🌳 3. The Hidden Hazard

A first-time visitor to a high-end resort course couldn’t hold it any longer. He darted behind a cluster of palms near hole #14, only to hear a ranger’s voice crackle over the radio:

“Sir, that’s a protected area. We have cameras for the wildlife.” Let’s just say that week’s “wildlife footage” was… memorable.

👀 4. Nature Calls (and the Group Behind Answers)

A golfer thought he found privacy behind some bushes between holes 6 and 7. Mid-stream, a voice called out:

“Mind if we play through?” Nothing humbles a man faster than an audience holding wedges and grins.

🕊️ 5. The Most Disciplined Man in Golf

A corporate guest at Augusta National reportedly excused himself near Amen Corner. A marshal calmly said:

“Sir, people have lost memberships for less than what you’re thinking.” He held it until the turn — earning eternal respect as The Most Disciplined Man in Golf.

🍺 6. The One-Stroke Penalty

In one men’s league, a chronic mid-round “disappearing act” inspired a new rule:

“Each bathroom break costs one stroke — unless you bring back beers.” Oddly enough, scores went up… and spirits did too.

💨 7. The Wind Direction Lesson

A gusty day on the 10th tee turned one player’s “stealthy relief” behind the cart into a splash zone. His buddy quipped:

“That’s the only slice you’ve hit all day!”

💦 8. The Real Water Hazard

Mistaking a maintenance area for a restroom, one golfer dashed behind the sign — just as the sprinkler system kicked on. He emerged soaked, steaming, and newly baptized into the Church of Poor Decisions.

🧃 9. The Cart Girl Confession

When asked where the next restroom was, the cart girl replied:

“Honey, after 10 years on this job, I’ve learned — every tree is technically a men’s room.” That line became the group’s unofficial motto for the season.

🏁 10. The Clubhouse Close Call

After finishing 18, one man sprinted for the clubhouse, leaving his bag behind. His buddies followed minutes later and found his driver propped proudly outside the restroom door — like a flag in victory. They still call it his “Final Hole in One.”

💬 Final Thought: Relief Is Part of the Game

Golf is full of hazards — sand traps, water, out-of-bounds… and sometimes your own digestive system. So next time you feel that sudden urgency, remember: you’re not alone. Every golfer has faced the call of nature between birdies and bogeys.

After all, it’s not about how you start or finish — it’s about how you hold it together in between.

🔖 Share the Laughter

💬 Comment below: What’s your funniest “emergency” on the course?📲 Tag your buddies who can’t make it 18 holes without a pit stop.👉 Follow @OGSwingThoughts for more golf humor, lifestyle stories, and smooth swing inspiration.